Dracula's Theatre Restaurant

100 Victoria Street, Melbourne.

Sorry, no photography inside.

 I’ve got to tell you that I had my doubts about a theatre restaurant with a horror theme but I got the surprise of my life.  This was a really excellent night out.  The entertainment was an amazing mix of musical comedy, cabaret, burlesque, rock and roll, rhythm and blues and music hall all rolled into a non stop hand clapping toe tapping sing along good time. 

3 million customers and counting. 

 The theatre is run like a well oiled machine as guests are greeted and led through a house of horrors décor to the bar, complete with glass floor with a body in a coffin under your feet.  You are then invited to ride the in house ghost train.  The atmosphere is Halloween fun with shrieks and screams from party loving patrons.  As we were ushered into the main theatre towards our table by Elvira Queen of Darkness, a rhythm and blues band of vampires blew everyone away from the stage. 

The makeup and costumes is first class, equalled only by the amazing musical talent of the performers.  The vampires teeth are so well done, I started to wonder if they really were vampires treading the boards for their next pint of the red stuff.

Now, let’s talk about the food.  It was ok.  That’s it.  That’s all I can say about it.  It was just ok.  These guys put out three courses to hundreds of people with military precision.  Everyone gets each course within the same couple of minutes, which is pretty impressive.  The desert is a mass produced chocolate coffin filled with cream.  Cute, but ho hum.  The other dishes were fairly pedestrian but at least they arrived hot.

Even the street hawkers outside are entertaining.



This is where you have to think about what constitutes a good time.  Is it great food above atmosphere, or the other way around?  The way I look at our night at Dracula's is this.  We were treated to a world class show of dancing singing and amazing special effects, something that would sit well in Vegas, Broadway or London.  We didn’t go hungry or thirsty, and we totally enjoyed ourselves for about 80 bucks each.  Thats a bargain.

So I can honesty say to all of our wonderful readers that a night out at Dracula’s in Melbourne is worth every cent and a wonderful way to spend an evening.   
Karl (Count Karl the un-dead foodie)

The Smoke. Smokehouse Restaurant.

New Farm, Brisbane, Queensland.

Formally Blue Smoke, this restaurant has been featured on a few TV shows and that’s where I first heard about it.  The idea that an authentic American smoked BBQ rib joint was operating in Brisbane was music to my ears.  The TV informed us about the ex-pat American rib expert who mopped the slow cooked hickory smoked ribs with his secret BBQ sauce while on the grill until they were glazed to perfection.  Drool was running down my chin.

Having enjoyed the pleasures of smokehouses in the USA and being bitterly disappointed in what passes for BBQ ribs here in Australia, it became a priority for us to trek on out to New Farm and give the Blue Smoke a go.  Of course life gets the better of you, as it does sometimes, and it took over a year before we found the time to drive the two and a half hours to rendezvous with the pork of our dreams.

It was a lovely spring Saturday lunch time when we arrived in Brisbane and drove around to find the restaurant.  We couldn’t find it, so we parked close and walked around where we thought it was until finally I asked a security guard if he knew.  He surely did and pointed us in the right direction.  We kept missing it because it’s not only tucked away amongst a bunch of other shops, but it’s changed its name to “The Smoke.” The place had obviously changed hands while I wasn’t looking.



Now this is where my dream of a great big rib eating frenzy started to turn into a sad day for the salivating pork lover.  We stepped inside of what looked like a café and were less than warmly greeted by a waiter asking if we wanted a table.  I wasn’t quick enough to think of something witty to say other than yes please.  We had to wait while they cleared the debris off the nearest table / half booth to be seated. 

The menu had one of my favourite southern style comfort foods, BBQ chicken wings with blue cheese sauce.  And of course we had to have the ribs.  Something wasn’t right about the place.  The best I can figure is that rib joints are all about feeling comfortable, tying on a big old bib and burying your face in unbelievably delicious meat.  This place was stuck up and cold.  They confuse themselves between a second rate rib joint and a fine dining venue.  The extraordinarily high prices and lousy atmosphere, service and decor attest to this.

Ok, so we wait nearly half an hour for our order and when it comes I don’t recognise anything.  The chicken wings weren’t big Buffalo wings but little wing dings with some sauce.  They really weren’t anything to write home about, and the blue cheese sauce was watery and bland.  The ribs looked like dinosaur ribs.  Some thing Fred Flintstone would eat.  If memory serves me right, properly slow cooked BBQ ribs are hard to pick up because the bone slides out of the meat, that’s how tender they are.  I had to take a knife to these things and carve the meat off.  It reminded me of a slab of pork belly with some beef rib bones inserted.  Nothing could be further than the real American rib experience.

Honestly folks, if you want to experience the real deal, save your money up and fly to Decatur county Alabama and visit Big Bobs famous BBQ rib joint, or any one of a thousand genuine smokehouses in the southern states of American.  You’ll be hooked.  You’ll never forget the amazing flavour and you’ll never lower your standards and eat at a dive like The Smoke at New Farm in Brisbane.  Tell your friends.  Like you, they deserve to be warned.
Karl