Santa Ana Tapas Bar, St. Kilda, Melbourne.

138 – 140 Acland Street, St. Kilda

If memory serves me correctly, Santa Ana was the Mexican General who kicked butt at the battle of the Alamo.  You may have seen the John Wayne movie where our hero’s were hopelessly out numbered and fought to the last man, and then he copped it between the ribs with a bayonet.

Well, that’s how my wallet felt after our lunch at Santa Ana restaurant on Acland Street in the trendy Melbourne suburb of St. Kilda.  It was beautiful weather that autumn day when we disembarked from our tram on the Boulevard in front of Luna Park and walked around the corner into Acland Street.  Boutique clothing and shoes, jewellery, souvenirs and hairdressers, cafes, restaurants, cake shops and patisseries, and everything else a tourist could ask for.  Wow.

As we cruised the street checking out the menus in search of something special for lunch, the promise of something Spanish and exotic caught our eyes, Tapas.  Yes, we had wanted to try some authentic tapas ever since we saw Anthony Bourdain exploring the Barcelona Tapas scene on TV.

The restaurant isn’t big but it is nicely furnished, wonderfully clean and the atmosphere is loaded with energy by the crowd of young holiday makers enjoying themselves at nearly every table.  The staff is warm and very friendly.  I did wonder why they all seemed to have Irish accents.  It sort of killed off any Latin authenticity the place might have had.

The tapas menu is quite extensive with a large variety of small “tasting” dishes to choose from, but it was a bit hard to understand.  The waiter was no help as he didn’t have a great knowledge of the menu and fobbed us off with “Oh it’s all good.”  I was waiting for a “to be sure” from my little Irish friend, but it didn’t happen. 

There were three of us in the group and we chose four dishes each hoping this would be enough to satisfy our hunger.  The dishes range from $8 for guacamole to $20 each for a sea food dish.  (And I mean a dish about the size of a saucer).  This is where I had to put the brakes on my brain doing flips with the mental arithmetic that can absolutely ruin a good meal.

So we ordered some icy cold Stella Artois and cokes and sat back to soak up the atmosphere.  It was really quite nice.  As I said before there was a lot of energy in the place.  It was well lit, modern with the comfort of air conditioning.  It didn’t take long for the first couple of plates to arrive and the smell was fabulous.  Spicy chicken skewers, sea scallops and a meat ball dish to start, all with their own incredible sauces.  We tasted each others delights, although there were only a couple of mouthfuls on each plate.  The rest of the dishes were shuttled out to us as they became ready and they went down a treat with the cold beer, the buzz of the crowd and the colourful view of the street. 

At the end of our meal we were satisfied that we had tasted something good, to a point, but we weren’t convinced of the authenticity.  That’s where our satisfaction ended.  We were still hungry and exorbitant prices had made the decision for us to stop ordering.  What we did eat was a nice snack for three hungry adults but too small for a luncheon and the only culinary criticism I can make is the meat dishes were slightly dry and over done, but the seafood and vegetables were perfect.

So having unburdened myself of lots of hard earned money, our quest for authentic Tapas in Australia continues.  Santa Ana wasn’t a complete waste of time and we really did appreciate the service and the flavour of the food, but unless I come into some serious money, we won’t be back for seconds.  Remember the Alamo!

Food Trek's Secret Foodie Method

Have you ever wondered how a food reviewer can eat at two, three or four restaurants in one day without exploding or going broke.  This is one way we have found to be a lot of fun and makes a lot of sense when you think about it. 

Firstly, we go out reviewing as a couple.   Study the menu and ask about the chefs signature dishes.  When we have decided what we would like to taste, we tell the waiter that we are going to share and order only one portion.  The waiter will usually provide extra plates.  Don't feel embarrassed, after all, a sale is a sale and the customer is always right, right?

You don't have to eat four or five courses at every venue.  You can always come back and try the deserts on another Food Trek.  Sharing the dishes can be a bit romantic as well.  Using this method we are able to taste delectable dishes the whole day for the cost of a descent night out.  Even if your not reviewing restaurants, you'll find that planning a full day's Food Trekking expedition with your partner can be a whole lot of fun.  From breakfast menus to Yum Cha lunches to Tapas for Dinner and gateaus for supper.  Planning your Food Trek is the key.  Bon Appetit.

Stone Grill Restaurant Toowoomba

The Cube Hotel's Stone Grill Restaurant on Margaret Street has a good reputation if you ask around in Toowoomba.  And I did.  Friends and colleagues said it was supposed to be a marvellous night out and famous for top quality steaks.  Sounded terrific, although none of them had actually been there yet.  Food Trek were looking for somewhere fun to take a couple of teenagers for dinner to celebrate success with the learner drivers test and the official start of an apprenticeship.  So I made reservations and off we went.

The decor is modern "sports bar" and the booth we were seated in was comfortable, but the atmosphere was noisy and dark.  Most of the light was provided by three tea light candles in the middle of the table and the background music and bar noise made it difficult to hold a conversation.   My internal foodie alarm was in full alert but I kept up a brave face for our guests sake.  After all, this was supposed to be fun, not a night to get picky.

The waitress took our order and then went to great lengths to explain that the stones that our meals are served on were at 300 degrees and very dangerous to touch.  Bloody hell, this was going to be exciting because I couldn't even see the table properly.  Maybe we get a pair of asbestos gloves.  Anyway we all went for the three course selection ($55 each).  First course was six Tasmanian scallops (without the roe that I find delicious and no scallop should be without) on a hot slab of stone.  Because it was so dark, we all had trouble telling when they were cooked.  With persistence and a lot of luck we managed to eat them with varying levels of satisfaction.  At least no one had third degree burns. Yet.

While we were cooking our first course, two different waitresses approached us every couple of minutes to ask if everything was satisfactory.  I didn't know how to answer.  Again I didn't want to bring the night down for our guests.  Maybe I could use ESP to let them know how I really felt. Eventually, after quite a long wait, our main course arrived.  Superb looking eye fillet steaks on sizzling hot stones.  What a shame a trained chef isn't going to prepare them for us.  Instead we all had a go at searing our meat on the scorching rocks, in the dark, avoiding serious injury and embarrassment. 

Our teenage friends were having a good time holding bits of meat up to the reflected light from the bar to see if that piece was ready to go down the hatch.  I know I ate my steak fairly rare as I think this is the best way to treat such a nice piece of meat rather than to over cook it.  Once again the waitresses were tag teaming each other to see who could annoy us the most. 

On completion of the main course, we all sat back with a drink to savour in the fact that we had accomplished a zero casualty rate, and to comment on what lovely steaks they were.  What a pity we had to cook them ourselves.  At least we wouldn't have to see the red hot stones again, unless they serve sizzling Creme Brulee.  That's when my Food Trek partner pointed out the troop of German cockroaches goose stepping up the wall beside her.  Once the manager was made aware of these freeloaders, he removed us from our booth, jumped up on the seat with a napkin and squashed them.  "There you go, sorry about that."  Then he gestured for us to retake our seats. 

Maybe it was the strong ESP signal I was emitting or the fact that we all just stood there shaking our heads that he got the idea something was wrong.  He then ushered us to a formica table near the kitchen and announced that desert will be served shortly before he disappeared.  A quick Food Trek conference took place and it was decided that photos were called for.  The old trusty Nikon made an appearance and some glamour shots of the food scraps and cockroach nest down the side of the booth were taken.  When the manager reappeared, we showed him the photos and shared our feelings on the cleanliness of his establishment.  Would you believe he offered us a complimentary round of drinks.  His generous offer wasn't necessary because we weren't going to put another thing from that restaurant near our mouths.

Needless to say our time at the famous Stone Grill had come to a ridiculous end.  We soon there after departed as the manager continued to catch cockroaches in a napkin before he could seat more unwitting diners in our booth, the waitresses without receiving a tip and our bill rightfully not paid.

Our experience was truly memorable for all the wrong reasons.  Our teenage guests thought it was a hoot and the best night out in a long time.  Food Trek partner was feeling a bit sick, and hopefully I have saved some of you from wasting valuable dining time and money on a similar fate. 

To me it seems the whole stone grill concept is a way for a restaurant not to have a chef.  Raw food is offered up on a slab of stone that is simply heated to the right temperature.  You do all the work.  Good pub food is a great tradition in our country and the stone grill concept gives pub food a bad name.

For a positive experience example of wonderfully traditional Pub Food, see our up coming review of Rudds Pub in the town of Nobby Queensland.

Colonial Tramcar Restaurant Melbourne

Why not start off with one of Melbourne's iconic eateries.  To tell you the truth, I didn't get my hopes up when we decided to give it a shot, but it surprised my socks off.   This isn't a fine dining experience in the pure sense of the word.  It's a sightseeing tour with fantastically prepared food and insanely friendly service.  Sounds like I loved it, doesn't it?  Well I think I did too. 

The tram is a restored 1948 beauty that has been fitted out in luxurious old world style.  Definitely a bit of first class "Orient Express dining car" going on here.  Once seated, our maitre de introduces himself and his staff and makes us all feel very welcome.  Sparkling wine is served with an exquisite pate and dip platter.  The tram trundled along into the city and then back out to St. Kilda at a comfortable pace that allowed us to enjoy our food and the views with out spilling a drop.

There are two dinner sittings each evening.  We chose the early sitting so we could enjoy the sights in daylight.  The later sitting would definitely be more romantic.  I really was bowled over by the beautifully kept old homes that were along our route.  Melbourne is such a beautiful city.

The set menu gave us a choice of a chicken or beef dish.  The idea of a set menu had me worried from the start but both choices of the main course were cooked to perfection.  The Mediterranean style chicken was delicate and tender with delightful vegetables.  The eye fillet beef was a study in the art of steak cooking.  I overheard dinners commenting on how this was probably the best steak they had ever had.  It melted in the mouth and was a very generous portion indeed.  Fantastic.

Throughout the meal, the wine kept on coming.  Delicious Victorian reds and whites especially selected to compliment the menu.  By the time the tram rolled down Acland Street in St. Kilda I was in foodie heaven.  Now it was getting dark and the lights around the boulevard, Luna Park and St.Kilda beach added to the magic. 

The desserts were not a disappointment either.  The softest most delicious sticky date pudding with butterscotch sauce, or a white chocolate passionfruit panacotta with praline were a hard choice to make.  Of course we shared each others deserts so we got to try both.  Just wonderful.  

The whole meal was finished off with coffee and liqueurs as we settled back and enjoyed the rest of the journey back to the starting point tramstop opposite the crown casino.  I was totally enthralled by the whole experience.  I didn't notice that we had been travelling for nearly two hours.  Time flies when your having fun.

The Colonial Tramcar Restaurant certainly is something special that all Australians should visit and be proud of.  A real slice of Melbourne.  For prices and booking information you can visit their web site http://www.viator.com/tours/Melbourne/Colonial-Tramcar-Restaurant-Tour-of-Melbourne/d384-3412TRAM?pref=02&aid=g1201

I know this sounds like an advertisement but it's not.  This is one venue that really impressed me. It was a great night out.  One last thing before I sign off.  A huge thankyou to Carl, Dot, and Katrina for working so hard and making our night so memorable. 

A fresh look at dining out.

Welcome to our new restaurant and food review blog.  You'll be able to share our joy of food as we explore many well known and not so well known restaurants.  We will even be reviewing cafes and other food outlets and let you in on some hidden secrets where you can enjoy some delicious discoveries for yourselves.

To kick off, we travel from our home base in the Queensland Darling Downs to Melbourne, to experience the wonders of the rich multiculural food available that Melbourne is famous for.  We will visit a couple of famous celebrity chefs establishments and trackdown some excellent chefs who should be celebrities.

I'll have my trusty Nikon with me, so I'll be able to show you some of our food adventures and the dishes we enjoy.  We will give you an idea of whats on the menu and what prices to expect.  Service is so important and we'll let you know about that as well.

So, keep an eye on this blog because it's going to be exciting (and delicious).  This is where you will find out what these resaurants are really like.